Resolving marriage problems is a task mandatory for every couple who has legally and consciously consented to co-habit as partners for life. Here, the couples must work together as a team to get their marital relationship going in peace and harmony. If they can agree to work as a formidable force, then I tell you, nothing can break them up no matter the storm; they can joyfully whether it victoriously. The eight  capsules are prescribed below:
AVOID AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBER INTRUSION INTO YOUR MARITAL AFFAIRS: A KEY TO RESOLVING MARRIAGE PROBLEMS [GEN.2:24]
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife. That way, two people become one”.
To leave your parents means that your relationship status with your parents must radically change. No more mummy’s boy or daddy’ girl. You should not be a baby husband or wife.
Some husbands do not do or buy anything for their wives without first of all consulting their father or mother. Their suggestion is simply the ideal thing to do, or buy. Some even go to the extent of giving the money to their mother or sister to madam’s wrapper, shoes, bags, etc.
Some ladies wholly depend on their mothers for counsel. Whatever their mother tells them is sure what they will do. Couples should be their selves.
The whole idea here is outside you relating with your parents. Give them their due respect as your parents but have your space to be able to reason as mature adults, and be able to make decisions on your own as married couples.
Resolving marriage problems with this very capsule requires strong decision-making to independently operate with your wife as a couple. The issue of the mother or father–in–law is sensitive and must be handled with care.
Our society allows an extended family system. Tolerate them, allow them to come around, respect them but do not allow them to run your family for you. Be in charge.
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BE CAREFUL ABOUT THE TYPE OF FRIENDS YOU KEEP OR INVITE INTO YOUR HOME
This is another capsule for resolving marriage problems. Human beings must make friends. However, the kind of friends one makes is very key. This is for the fact that your kind of friends defines your kind of person.
Like the adage “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are. This means that a friend to a thief is a thief, a friend to a harlot is a harlot. You are who your friend is, so be careful in your choice of friends. Friends have, and can do a lot of harm to a peaceful family.
There are unfriendly friends. There are marriage destroyers, all in the name of friendship. To wives, it is wrong to befriend a woman who is having issues in her marital home. A woman who treats her husband badly can influence you to do the same. Beware!
A woman who boldly tells another woman how she maltreats and controls her husband is not a good one, and cannot make a good friend. Make a friend that will always encourage you, and not the one that is fond of gossip. “Evil communication corrupts good manner, [1.cor.15:33]. Breaking ties with such people is necessary for resolving marriage problems.
Men should not befriend a man who beats his wife or has a questionable, and unbendable character. Some men are wife snatchers, and some women are also husband snatchers, and home breakers. From such avoid.
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WATCH YOUR KIDS AND CORRECT TOGETHER THE BAD BEHAVIOURS YOU OBSERVED OR HEARD ABOUT THEM.
Crucial to resolving marriage problems is the ability for couples to watch and correct their kids’ behavior together without taking sides. Proverb 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it”.
Training a child goes beyond giving the child the best of education, buying them good clothing, shoes, confectionaries, and feeding them with a balanced diet. It is all about training a child in the ways of the lord.
Godly principles are key to training a child. With those principles, he can find his path through life and destiny. So, what you buy for the child, how you react when a child does what is wrong, what you allow them to see, and the kind of friends they keep are all part of a child’s training.
Don’t be a weak parent. Begin by instructing them on simple etiquettes and morality. Correct them firmly but with love. Let them know the necessity of discipline. Teach them the Scriptures too.
You and your partner must work as a team on this delicate project. Support each other, and don’t take sides whether the child is you’re most favorite or not. This is important to resolving marriage problems.
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AVOID POSSIBLE CAUSES OF POVERTY; LAZINESS, JOBLESSNESS, POOL STAKING, AND GAMBLING
The worst enemy of the family in poverty. Poverty is scarcity and lack, a state of being poor. Poverty is noticed when a person has no sufficient food to eat, money to provide for the basic needs of life.
Laziness is a possible cause of poverty. Husbands and wives should fight against laziness. See Proverbs 6:9. Poverty is a curse, in fact, it is worst than HIV/AIDS. Poverty is a spirit. When it possesses life, it makes it miserable.
Poverty frustrates marriage and renders it useless. In resolving marriage problems, poverty must be avoided by all means. Poverty can degrade, humiliate, and rubbish a man without honor in society.
So, couples must never be idle or jobless. Do all you can to be gainfully engaged, and put in your best in whatever you do, and God will prosper you.
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FORGIVENESS AS A CAPSULE FOR RESOLVING MARRIAGE PROBLEMS
In as much as all other capsules are very key to resolving marriage problems in our families and homes, forgiveness certainly is a necessity for every home to succeed. Any couple that cannot forgive is never ready to prosper and flourish his or her home.
Forgiveness is divine. The offense certainly must come. Expect them because you are not married to an Angel. Your husband or wife is a human being, so, mistakes are inevitable. Do not keep records of offenses.
Piled-up records of offenses can lead to sorrow, hatred, and anger. All of these can degenerate into depression, and depression can lead to so many things but the height of them all could be murder/suicide.
Forgive and forget all confessed misdeeds of your partner, even when admission of guilt or confession refuses to come. Colossians 3:12. No one is above tendering an apology to his or her marriage partner. Humility is an essential ingredient of marital relationships.
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DO NOT DENY EACH OTHER INTIMACY: A KEY IN RESOLVING MARRIAGE PROBLEMS
About 100% of the marital problems between husbands and wives emanate from this point. This is why it is a serious capsule for resolving marriage problems. The time of intimacy is a time for enjoyment and satisfaction.
It should be a moment of togetherness for husband and wife after the days hustling and bustling. Look at what the Bible has to say in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.
One of the quickest ways to put a barrier between husband and wife is to deny each other intimacy. Women have learned that the easiest way to hurt a partner and to demand immediate attention and response is withholding intimacy from a partner.
But this is very wrong! It is sin to refuse your partner your body. Your body belongs to him, and he or she should have it except for the purpose of fasting and prayers which must be the agreement between both. Willingness to submit without hesitation can help to resolve marital problems.
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DO NOT ALLOW YOUR VILLAGE CULTURE TO POLLUTE YOUR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
Despite the advent of civilization and Christianity, there are some people or villages that still attach much importance to their devilish culture and tradition. Some traditions regard women as strangers in their marital home. That makes her not completely detached from her father’s house.
Because of the patrilineal & matrilineal practice, some men shift their
Responsibility of child’s training to the wife’s family thereby denying the children their fundamental rights. This is why not allowing this practice is a capsule to resolving marriage problems.
Do not stick to your village culture and tradition. It can collapse a beautiful marriage. Click here to see what Psalms 78:8.
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DON’T ALLOW MONEY TO CAUSE FIGHTS AND QUARRELS IN YOUR FAMILY
This last capsule is crucial to resolving marriage problems which why we will be objective in discussing it. Half of the challenges encountered by couples, the divorce, and collapse of homes and families are consequent of this single fact ‘Family finance”.
Family finance troubles have no regard to the year’s marital relationship has lasted and their achievement. That is how powerful family finance wahala can be. The problems emanate from procurement and expenditure.
Experience tells us that people who lack courage cannot solve financial problems. Life is full of risk, and you must face it or die not trying to solve problems. In family finance, planning and budgeting is everything.
The family budget is necessary and can be based on the joint income of the husband and the wife that is if the wife is an income earner. You must plan for everything. There are 11 strategic areas your family budget must cover, though according to the family income. They are:
- Tithes [10% 0f your income]
- House rent, and utility bills
- Food and provisions
- Hospitality/ humanitarian
- Allowances to both parents
- Pocket money
- Target savings
- Contingency fund.
Time may fail me to go into detail explaining these items in detail. Just ensure funds are allocated to these areas every month as the income comes. Let it be known that the very day couples are joined as one, that word “MINE” changes to “OURS”. This is an issue in resolving marriage problems.
Funds should be managed jointly with greater confidence placed on the husband by the wife to prudently manage the family finance. Transparency is demanded on both parties, but mostly on the husband to make that the wife is properly carried along.
They should be no secrecy on both sides. That way, suspicion will be replaced with trust. This is for the fact that these funds are jointly owned and managed for the good of the family.
Many families are scared of running a joint account for the fear of what might happen along the line. The husband might decide to change for the worst tomorrow, or the wife as the case may be.
Just allow the fear of God to guide your hearts coupled with the bond of love you both share in marital vows. Those vows should be sacredly upheld by both partners, and with God, your marriage will definitely succeed.
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What causes problems in the family is a lack of understanding of what marriage is all about. Couples must understand that marriage is all about “for better for worse”. There is no going back once you’ve entered and have been legally declared husband and wife.
This is not to say that the road will be so rosy all the way. No! It is not always rosy, but you must keep pushing without retreating. I have always said that love is never everything in marriage. Marriage starts with love but it’s being sustained on Trust. Having this knowledge alone is enough to help in resolving marriage problems in a home. Love grows into trust, trust into patience, and patience is maturity.
We have a serious fault in Africa, we are not well informed about what we ought to do, and how we are to do it as we go along in marriage. Wives should study the temperament of their partners, and help them out in any way they can. Don’t forget that the principle of marriage is, “the way you fashion or make your home is how it’s going to be.
Finally, it takes too many tears to make love mature. No matter how bad things have become in your marriage, God can turn things around positively, if you will submit to Him and seek His help.
You must not forget to read the story from the beginning so as to catch the entire 30 Amazing Capsules for Fighting Marital Bacteria, according to the breakdown. they are as listed below:
- Resolving Marital Problems | 30 Amazing Capsules for Fighting Marital Bacteria
- RESOLVING MARITAL PROBLEMS| 11 MAGICAL CAPSULES FOR RESOLVING MARITAL PROBLEMS EXCLUSIVELY FOR WOMEN ONLY
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