Marital problems one of the most worrisome problems that have been of grave concern to the 21st Century. This has gone beyond a matter of public discussion and requires immediate attention because of the danger it poses to society. We cannot bury our heads and pretend as if marital issues are not a serious threat to society at large.
INTRODUCTION TO MARITAL PROBLEMS AS A BIG THREAT TO SOCIETAL PEACE
If there is trouble in your marketplace, school, office, or workplace, where will you run to? You will run home. But if there are issues in your marriage, home, and family, where will you go? The family and home are the places of all beginning. We live in a society where a man can manage and control chains of businesses and industries with probably 20, 50, 100, even above a thousand staff, but cannot manage his wife and family, with probably 1 to 5 or more children.
May I categorically state here that marital Problems are an experience every marital relationship must have her fair share? This is for the fact that marital challenges most times serve as a lubricant to a rusted marital relationship.
The aim of this article is not to frighten you or discourage intending couples but to see it as part of every relationship. The problem here is not really the marital issues you have to deal with or are dealing with but how you were able to manage them as they surface.
Our second objective is to enlighten you of some of these marital problems, and proffer solutions to them, so that as they come you should know how to deal with them instead of running away from them or breaking your sweet relationship up because you couldn’t handle them.
From my little research, coupled with many years of experience as a counselor, and a married man at that, I have come to discover that most marital problems are caused by wrong or weak marital foundations. Follow me as we briefly look into some of the issues.
13 REASONS FOR MARITAL PROBLEMS/COLLAPSE
1. PREGNANCY BEFORE WEDLOCK
One of the reasons for marital issues is an accidental, emergency, or unplanned pregnancy before the wedding. When a marriage is based on accidental pregnancy and the couple was forced into the relationship because of the pregnancy. Such a marriage has a bad foundation and may not last or be successful.
2. ABORTION BEFORE MARRIAGE
This is another strong reason that can lead to marital issues. The truth is that youths of today are no longer in the mood to wait for tomorrow, it’s now or never. They are playing with and eating the food preserved exclusively for couples. They are competing with couples and have taken intimacy out of the closet.
When a girl commits abortion for a man before marriage, she has laid a bad foundation for that marriage relationship. That’s why girls should be very careful in their relationship with the opposite sex. Many have lost their womb after such an abortion. The consequences are usually heavy at the end.
3. PHYSICAL INFATUATION
When the marriage relationship is based on beauty, handsomeness, and other physical features like long legs, slim figures, open teeth, and pointed nose, it can lead to very serious marital problems unimagined in the future.
It is obviously true that one, two, or three of these physical features can attract you into a serious relation, like marriage with your partner, but be careful not to make any mistake.
The truth is that anything could happen at any time; it could be an accident, or something else. When those physical infatuations are no more there, the union becomes shaky, wobbly, or unstable, and therefore will likely collapse.
Sometimes, a man marries a girl because she has nobody. Also, a girl marries a man because he is the only son and nobody cooks for him and he alone looks after the sick mother. You now want to sympathize with him or help him by becoming the wife.
That is a marriage based on sympathy. Maybe a girl is being forced to marry a man because of his wealth or a boy is persuaded to marry a girl because of the parent’s wealth, and they have promised him one favor or the other. Avoid such because it can lead to marital problems in the near future.
5. LURE OF WEALTH
Many marry for wealth. Some believe that without money, one cannot enjoy a happy married life. Such a marriage that has a monetary interest will not last longer than one influenced by sentiment.
However, a good lady at the same time might disregard the fact that she is rich, and still remain good and submissive to her husband.
We are also aware of the fact that some ladies quickly agree to marry a man because he has enough to spend on her and to live on not considering his profession, age, or academic background.
Men should as equally not be a slave in the hands of sugar-mummies in the name of marriage because of the goodies they are getting from them. The goodies can cease any day, any time. See what the Holy book has to say about this here.
6. THE AGE QUESTION
The age factor is another issue that can lead to marital problems in a marriage relationship. The question now is; what should be the age gap between husband and wife in marriage? Is it advisable to marry a man or a lady who is of the same age bracket?
Or should a man marry a lady who is at least between 5 and 10 years younger than him?
According to a school of thought, when a man marries a lady who is much younger than him, at least 10 years, it commands respect; the man is marrying the girl in her prime. The lady has a long rope for childbearing.
Some ladies argue that they cannot marry a man who is ten years older than them. Their reason is that the man will regard them as their housemaid; they cannot have a say in their home even when it is obvious that they are maltreated.
It is equally dangerous for a man to marry a woman who is older than him. The reason is that it is a natural law to respect one senior. The man will be feeling inferior where he married a lady that is older than him. This is where serious marital problems lie.
Some ladies argue that they will respect the man provided they love each other. Love is the determinant factor, and not age.
7. BLOOD COVENANT
Blood covenant is common in Africa. This is when a boy or a man enters into a blood covenant with a girl or woman to solidify their marital relationship. They use a razor blade or any sharp to bleed themselves and mingle their blood in oat.
This approach has recked lots of lives and homes in Africa. It is a serious marital problem that must be abolished amongst lovers. Trust is key in any relationship.
8. WITCHCRAFT / OCCULTIC MEMBERSHIP
Many families are going through hell without knowing its cause. Believe it or not, it is happening around us. Manipulations are there that the couples cannot spell out how it came to be.
There are lots of stories but time will fail me to narrate them here so that families need to watch them and be more careful. This can cause marital problems and can lead to marital collapse.
9. CURSES FROM ONE PARENT
This another reason for marital problems. Words they say are powerful. African parents are used to careless words on their children. Sometimes they may not mean what they say but it happens as it is being said.
It is also very true that name works on the bearer. Most names are circumstantial, and it is given to a child. Most of the names we bear are demonic and have some elements of bitterness and misery in them and we bear them. These names most times work against people even to their marital affairs.
Jacob in the Holy Scripture suffered a similar fate because of the name his parents gave him. So he had to wrestle with a man just for his fortune [Name] to be changed. His name was everything and changed the course of his destiny. Click here to get the full story of Jacob.
Parents should be careful with the names they give to their children and the words they use on them. Words are powerful and they are real. It can have a serious effect on marital relationships thereby creating marital problems.
10. INADEQUATE PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE.
Many young people go into marriage without adequate preparation. This is why many relationships are having marital problems today. Some have thrown in the towel because they cannot solve marital problems.
In a marriage relationship, maturity is key. Couples must be mature mentally, physically, spiritually, materially, financially, and psychologically. Most importantly, you cant be jobless and financially broke and you are talking about going into marriage.
As a matter of fact, both partners must have a good source of income that should sustain their homes. This majorly creates marital problems with many couples.
11. INDISCRIMINATE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
A casual approach to choosing a marriage partner has resulted in broken homes and an unhappy relationship. Some boys are experts at breaking women’s hearts by giving them fake marriage promises and proposals just to get whatever they want from them. They do this went they want to lure them to bed.
An indiscriminate marriage proposal can confuse you. Take your time and carefully criticize every proposal that comes your way, pray too for divine guidance. Remember that “all that glitters is not gold”, do not be deceived.
12. LONG AND SECRETE ENGAGEMENT
This is another reason for marital problems. A man who has not secured a piece of land should not mold blocks. Long and secrete engagement oftentimes leads to disappointment and frustration. Engagement and disengagement are very dangerous. Either of the partners abandoned may feel bad and plan evil against the other.
Why must you propose to a young lady and kept her waiting for years, and at the end of the day, you abandoned her for another girl? You don’t propose to a girl when you know that you are not ready for the relationship. Either the boy or the girl can decide to go on retaliation forever not forgiving.
13. DISBELIEF IN THE WORD OF GOD
This is another potential threat to a marital relationship. When a man and a lady enter into marriage ignorantly. When a marriage union is entered outside the will of God, marital problems are inevitable. Whatever one does without God’s approval is already a failure. Allow God to order your relationship and it will be made in heaven on earth.
Don’t look at what you are passing through now and conclude that it’s all over with your marriage relationship. Go back to your foundation and discover where you got all wrong from the start, then you can start to fix the present. It is not ever until it’s over.
What out for “30 Capsules For Fighting Marital problems” in our next publication coming out right after this.
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